gloriouscurse | It's impossible to protect your child against life [Closed to Henry]

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henry mills

It's impossible to protect your child against life [Closed to Henry]

It had taken everything in Regina to not make herself appear at Slothburger to interrogate Neal herself, because she knew what to look for, knew what to ask. But Emma had been on her way, had sent Regina the promised text, and now all that Regina was doing was wearing a path in her carpet. It was her week with Henry, she knew he would be back eventually, but still, she was pacing as she waited. He was in trouble for not contacting she or Emma right away, but more than that, because it really was Neal, she was worried about her son.

His father was dead, he was a child trying to process the loss of a parent, and now that same father was back. Returned from a fairly fresh grave, and how did she help Henry through that? What did she tell him? All that she could do, really, was be there and make sure he was okay the best she knew how.

She had no idea why her stomach was knotted, she just knew that Henry had been blindsided today, and she had no way of knowing how to actually fix it.

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Henry knew neither of his moms were happy with him right now. He was supposed to call them, and truthfully, he hadn't even thought about it at all. The moment he saw his dad he just wanted to hug him. He knew it was him. But it didn't matter, there was still a chance he could have been wrong, and then something back might have happened.

After everything at the diner, he made his way back to Regina's apartment, and he was solemn, quiet, nothing at all like Henry. Head down, he stood there, shutting the door behind him and just taking a deep breath.

"Henry." She was so damn relieved to see him that she wrapped him up tightly without thinking about it, as disappointed as she'd been that he hadn't remembered to text or call first.

Cradling his face in her hands, Regina looked at him in concern. "Henry, are you all right?" She could feel that he wasn't and gently began guiding him to the couch.

"No," he said quietly, eyes so dark and sad as he looked up at her. Then, wordlessly, he followed her to the couch, sitting down heavily, leaning back against the cushions, his hands folded into his lap.

There were so many things to do, so many thoughts on his mind, but he just sat there staring off into space for now. He also knew he was in trouble, and that somehow seemed easier to deal with than his dad, because that was...more normal.

"Am I in trouble?" he mumbled, looking over at her.

"We don't have to talk about that now," she said softly, reaching out to him, resting a hand on his arm.

"Emma and I have to talk first, then we'll discuss whether or not you deserve a punishment." The one thing she and Emma would always try to work out, Regina knew, was how to discipline Henry and to agree or disagree on. It wasn't always pretty, but they tried.

"Henry, I was worried. When you first arrived here, remember when I was in the hospital? That same thing would have happened to Emma because she thought she was talking to Neal. I know you think we over react about things sometimes, but this could have been serious."

So much for not talking about it now, but she'd been worried, and now it was coming out.

Rationally, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew she had a right to be worried, because he'd been so worried about both of his moms when he first got here. He knew it made sense. But...nothing was logical right now. He was just experiencing waves of pure, painful emotion, and he was hearing things she wasn't even really saying.

Tensing, his eyes narrowed, and he said, "I knew that was my dad, I knew it wasn't one of those things. Don't you think I know my own dad?"

His heart was pounding a little now.

Regina looked right at him, not wavering, not yet.

"I didn't know mine, Henry. I just wanted him so badly I didn't care, not at first. I believed it was him with everything in me until it was too late. That was why we wanted you to be careful, not because you don't know Neal, but because that thing knew us. Knew what we wanted and used that to try and kill us."

There was no reason to sugar coat. Not this.

"I know my dad!"

Henry suddenly shot up from the couch. And she wasn't even really disputing that, just saying that those things could disguise themselves so well.

But really, Henry hardly knew his dad at all. He never had the chance to know much about him at all, except the way he hugged, that tight way he pulled him close; that was his dad, he knew it. And now his dad was here, but he wasn't really alive, and it hurt so much, so much that he was happy and afraid all at the same time. Because if he got to really know him here, it would be harder to lose him again. He didn't want to, he wanted to hide.

And then, he just went to his rooms, shutting the door roughly and pressing his back up against it.

He'd never in his life - except for the year he spent hating her - had an outburst like that toward her, and she sat for a moment in shocked silence. But then she was up and banging on his door.

"Open this right now."

Henry didn't move, didn't budge, he just stood there not saying a single word. He was, however, starting to cry, silent tears falling down his cheeks.

Regina vowed, after the mine, that she would never use magic on Henry again. But she never promised not to use it tactically in parenting. And so, in a whirl of purple, she appeared in his room standing across from him. The anger at him slamming the door on her though died in her throat at his tears.

"Henry. Don't shut me out. Not right now." Her voice was gentle and she took one step forward, needing to reach out and comfort him, feeling her heart tighten painfully in her chest as sure as if someone were squeezing it.

Seeing her in front of him now, Henry couldn't hold back the tears, and they were flowing freely now as he stepped forward, pressing up against her, holding her, and just crying. "Mom..."

Her arms wrapped around him tightly, her cheek dropping to the top of his head, though soon she wouldn't be able to do that. She held onto him though and slowly sank to the floor so that she could truly hold him.

Regina said nothing, just held onto her son, letting him cry, and rocking slowly, lips pressing to his hairline.

"I'm here, Henry," she finally said quietly.

Henry leaned heavily against her, just on the verge of sobbing, but not quite. His shoulders were shaking, and he couldn't even really catch his breath.

Finally, at some point, he said, "It's not fair..."

Regina's hand slowly rubbed his back, her voice still soft.

"That he's here?" she asked him quietly, trying to encourage him to talk it out with her.

Henry nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "He's here...but he's not really alive..."

He was choking on his words, and swallowed heavily. "I wanna know him, but then I have to say goodbye again."

And he had already lost his father twice.

Regina closed her eyes and tried to bite back the disappointment in her own voice, and the hurt at the fact that her son was hurting.

"You still need to know him, Henry. I know it isn't fair, that one day he'll be gone again. But you have a gift now. More time."

There was a time when she would have done anything for one more minute with Daniel that didn't have him in excruciating pain, out of his mind. "It's okay to be sad about things," she assured him. "You can be sad."

He knew she was right, but it still hurt. Why did he have to keep losing his dad? Why couldn't he just stay?

He was quiet, except for the crying, which eventually faded to just soft sniffling, but he stayed right where he was.

"I didn't...I didn't cry at the diner. I wanna be strong for Emma."

"Oh, Henry..." Her eyes closed as she pressed her cheek to the top of his head. "You don't have to be the strong one. let us be strong for you. Let me be strong for you now," she murmured.

Whatever he needed, Regina would do for him, always.

By now, he was cried out, really, the silence punctuated by light sniffles now and then. But he just remained right there against her chest, then reached for her hand, taking comfort in that touch like he had on the boat coming back from Neverland.

"I don't want to lose anyone else, mom."

She couldn't give him any falsities, not when she'd lost enough in her life to know that loss wasn't something that ever stopped, not really. You learned how to deal with it, how to cope. But it never stopped.

"There are people in our lives, Henry, that sometimes, we're only...meant to know for a short time. And what matters isn't the amount of time we have, but how we spend it."

It hurt to hear that, but it was also the truth, and he couldn't escape it. He was only supposed to have his dad for a little while. He just hoped he could make him proud, and he could be the hero his dad was.

"I don't want you or Emma to only be with me for a short time," he breathed out shakily.

Her hold on him tightened as she dropped her head to kiss his temple, lingering there.

"Emma and I will both always do our very best to stay with you, Henry." She couldn't promise him, even though she wanted to, that they would never go anywhere.

"We love you, and we want to see you grow up and have your own life. Your own adventures. We plan on being here for all of that."

He knew she couldn't promise anything, and so he just held onto her tightly, pressing his face up against her shoulder, getting lost in the comfort she was giving him.

Please don't leave me, he begged silently.

"I know, mom."

Regina simply rocked him for a few long moments, kissing the top of his head and lingering there. Finally, after stroking his cheek, she tilted his face so that she could see his eyes.

"What can I do for you right now?" She didn't care if that was simply sitting right there and talking for hours. Whatever he needed.

He thought about it for a few long moments, taking a deep breath.

"Can we watch a movie?"

He was cried out, and he didn't know what to say.

"Any movie you want," she promised, then added:

"But I need your help off of the floor." One leg was asleep; she wouldn't move until he was ready, and she refused to displace him.

He stood up, and wrapped one arm around hers, hooking his other arm around her shoulders to help her up.

"Star Wars," he decided.

"Star Wars it is," she agreed, then once she was standing, she just pulled him close again, making sure he was wrapped securely in her arms.

"I love you, Henry. You know that?"

He managed a soft smile and a little nod. "I love you, too, Mom."

And for tonight, she was a huge help in making him feel a little better.

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It's impossible to protect your child against life [Closed to Henry]

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